This month Klaus and I went to Alpenzoo where we have been watching funny mountain animals. Since we live in Austria, all the animals are wearing leather pants and are fed with fleischkas semmeln.

Klaus wanted to become friends with the funny residents, but somehow they didn’t break the ice. One of the goats wanted Klaus to lend him 10 euros, which he couldn’t resist because of its cute look. He did not get his money back…

From this moment Klaus seemed kind of worried about goats and money.. even worse, Klaus was real paranoid about the animals in the zoo saying something like they were his enemies. And the little girl over there, she had a really mean look going on, according to him. Did she want to offend Klaus? Also he told me of that eagle, who threatened Klaus with he would scratch his face.

I didn’t hear it, because I concentrated on a Capricorn that was talking in tyrolean accent, of course, but Klaus assured me the eagle was hostile! He kept asking me, whether I saw this coming or whether it was my fault or if I had something to do with this conspiracy against him. The paranoid talk was peaking in a moment where he told me somebody was following us. Indeed, someone was.. The goat wanted to bring Klaus his 10 bucks back and everything was alright and they became friends all after. They wished each other a nice good bye and are friends on facebook now. They have 27 mutual friends.

Klaus had never been the same since this day. Though the goat gave him his money back, he couldn’t stop mugging himself over this situation. This whole trust thing hit his head hard.

His behavior really changed, which made me kind of sad. Actually I wanted to kick him out of the flat and didn’t care at all. Joke.

He’s been hanging on the couch, where he is all after. Klaus said he wouldn’t want to leave the house, because it was too dangerous outside, and he wouldn’t like people or something. Other people suck, let’s be honest he said. But would be cool If I brought him some deep fry pizza and some nachos maybe.

I told him: “dude get out of here, do something, you suck right now!”

Klaus answered with.. you know.. life sucks, everyone is having fun on my expense, and I suck. You just said it. All these goats just try to master other people like they were challenges those goats had to face. Its so mean. And I’m useless as hell!

I said.. easy Klaus Lotto. This will pass.. you know what will help you: Buy some new clothes and have a make-over! Go to the spa and buy a new car. Definitely get a new name! Klaus Lotto is dead, from now your name is: Skula Tolto. Your old person sucks, but maybe if you just try to be somebody else very hard every day every month bydoing superficial stuff… you might make it in some years. You would not be mugged by goats ever again, because they would think you’re a cool guy and of course not try to con you.. because you look cool. Don’t think about the reasons that made this happen.

Since this day Klaus Lotto tries to act someone else.. It would just have sucked if he still was himself.. so why be it? Don’t make yourself unhappy with thoughts.. just.. don’t be yourself! It’s a lifestyle! Get real! Be part of it!